so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Randomize
