love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
