and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
