i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
