Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
