i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
