wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
i think im in europe. pls send help
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
