im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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