i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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