he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
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