So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
