Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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