Welp...herpes.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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