i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
