Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
