I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
