A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
