pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
