College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
