His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
What a dumb baby whore.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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