We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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