Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
