Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Randomize
