I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize