we're blogging at a bar
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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