We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
We talked him into tasing himself.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
