It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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