I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize
