So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize