Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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