i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize