so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
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