the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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