worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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