Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize