So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
