So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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