Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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