the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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