PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Randomize
