he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
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