I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
