Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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