i permit you to call me
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize