omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Randomize
