so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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