i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
