I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
