my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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