I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
