you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
pray to the hookup gods
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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