they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
two words: eviction party
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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