I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Don't EVER smell your tampon
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
