I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
