I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Congratulations! We have a period
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
