If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
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