Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
