Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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