weddingsv make me drug and hornr
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
