I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
