I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize