so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
