my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
