Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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