my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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