I think I am morally bankrupt
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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