I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
