How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
