I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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