she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
