YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize