I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
