if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
There's always time for handjobs
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
