i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
