I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
