Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
