I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
