if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
