It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
what is it with giant penises always finding me
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
